A Million and One Reasons
by BlueBrainProductions
Summary: Oneshot for Shiken-chii. When Yao has had enough of his younger cousin dating the quiet Canadian, he decides to take drastic measures. The love Kiku shared with Matthew had kept him going for so long, but will it be enough to save him now? CanaPan


This is for the wonderful Shiken-chii, who is definitely one of the nicest people I have ever met on this site. It's more drama than angst, but I think you'll like it anyways.

The topic was angst with a side of sweet (and another part, but it'll spoil everything if I tell you here).

**Rated: T**

Disclaimer: _Hetalia: Axis Powers_ to Hidekaz Himaruya

* * *

"Where have you been, aru?"

Kiku sighed quietly. He had hoped to sneak to bed without being caught. It was nearly midnight and much later than the small man was known to be out. In his hand he held a large red bag which he set on the hardwood floor by the stairs. When he turned around, he could see where his cousin had been hiding. Yao was sitting on the couch next to the only lamp turned on in the room. He was dressed in his finest silk pajamas from the homeland. Cupped in his delicate hands was a small cup of tea. The liquid let off steam that disappeared above his head.

"I had to work late. Mr. Beilschmidt would not-" Kiku tried to explain, but Yao cut him off.

"You were not at work. I called and your boss said you had left at six."

There was no point in trying to continue that lie anymore. Kiku knew he had been caught tightly in a web. The only action he made was to clasp his hands in front of him.

"So let me ask again. Where were you?"

"I was with Matthew."

The emotion in the room definitely took a turn for the worse. However, a tightening of his grasp on the tea cup and the narrowing of dark and sharp eyes, were the only indication that Kiku's answer had affected Yao. Both men were silent for many moments. Yao's jaw continuously clenched and unclenched as if he was trying to decide when the best time was to speak. Kiku hoped his cousin would speak though. Silence was Yao's greatest weapon and he abused it to the fullest extent.

Finally, the older man broke the silence. His voice was soft and level like always, but there was a barely restrained edge to his tone. "You were with Matthew."

"_Hai_."

"Matthew Williams. The man I have specifically banned you from seeing."

Kiku swallowed as quietly as he could. "_Hai_," he barely whispered in reply.

Six years before, Yao had decided to move his family to America. It was very hard to care for a household of five people on such harsh wages. He wanted his cousins (of whom he was the guardian of) to attend college and get jobs that would be stable. However, while the younger cousins enjoyed America greatly, Yao quickly came to hate it. He would mutter how barbaric the natives were in his language.

It was not long after they moved that Yao changed. He became a recluse, only going out when it was absolutely required. The house and the garden in the enclosed backyard became his sanctuary; his home away from home. With the seclusion came a change of personality. Kaoru was the first to suffer the wrath of the guardian. It happened when the youngest family member came home wearing American clothes. No one had ever seen nor expected Yao to yell or raise a hand against his own family, but that day they did. Kaoru sported a nasty bruise on his cheek for days.

After that, things only got worse. Kiku, Kaoru and Yong Soo all suffered under their guardian's hand for years. Luckily the second youngest cousin, Mei, was never touched. Yao thought of her as a delicate porcelain doll that had to be coddled and protected. He tried to keep her locked away in the home with him, but she became tired of it. At eighteen years of age, Mei was the first to leave the home. She moved to California so she could attend the school of her choice.

Kaoru was next to leave. He had his bags packed on his eighteenth birthday. A year after Mei left, the youngest cousin flew back to Hong Kong to live with a few friends. He had apparently been saving every penny he could in order to buy a plane ticket. Yong Soo moved out not too long after Kaoru. He was already twenty years old and had two years of college under his belt. He currently lives on campus. After graduating, he plans on traveling some and then settling somewhere back in South Korea.

The only one left was twenty-three year old Kiku. He wanted to leave so badly, but he felt obligated to stay. Who would care for Yao when he was ill? Who would buy the groceries and pay bills on time? If he left, Yao would soon be homeless in a foreign country. Could Kiku really do that to the man who practically raised him even though there were many reasons that confirmed he should not?

"Please tell me, Kiku, why you have disobeyed me again."

Dark brown eyes were cast to the floor. There were a million and one reasons that he could give about him seeing Matthew. He could speak until he was blue in the face and even then he would not be close to finished. Matthew was quiet, but he was funny and charming to a fault. He could turn a disaster of a night into something straight out of a romantic movie. His French sent shivers up Kiku's spine every time he spoke it. The Canadian was also stronger than most people gave him credit for. He could lift blocks of ice like it was nothing and Kiku had once seen him lift his brother Alfred, who weighed at least one hundred and sixty pounds. Matthew had a strong spirit too. Since he was more on the quiet side, people forgot he was there sometimes. However, that never bothered him anymore. He was more content to provide support from the sidelines and be happy with Kiku, Alfred and his friends Francis and Arthur.

"Kiku, answer me, aru." Yao was now standing and still holding his tea cup.

The Japanese man finally got the nerve to square his shoulders and looked at his cousin with no hint of fear. He decided he could stand up to Yao. "Matthew makes me feel happy and safe. He loves me and I love him."

A deep red color began creeping up Yao's neck. Kiku had never spoken back in such a fearless way. The Japanese man was tired though of always feeling obligated to help his cousin and follow the orders. He was tired of constantly feeling fear every time he was in the same house. Matthew was right. Kiku needed to escape.

Yao crept towards Kiku slowly, like a tiger stalking its prey. The knuckles on his hand had turned white from holding the cup so tightly. The shadows cast by the lamp made Yao seem more frightening than usual.

"He makes you feel happy, safe and loved," Yao spat with disgust. "Do I not provide the same for you? Tell me, cousin, when have I ever not provided you with a safe home to return to every night?"

Kiku was quickly losing all of his courage. With every step Yao took, Kiku moved one step backwards.

"When have you not felt happiness when I buy you the things you want and need?"

The wall finally connected with Kiku's back.

"When your parents abandoned you, who was it that took you in? Who raised you to be the man you are today? Who gave you the love that no one else would?"

The Chinese man did not stop until he was standing over the other. He leaned down slightly so his face was close to Kiku's. Kiku could almost see his frightened reflection in those dark eyes.

"By tomorrow morning, you will know the correct answers to those questions." Yao grabbed the other's arm in a vice like grip. "And you will never see Matthew Williams again."

[-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-]

The knocking woke Matthew from his sleep. It stopped just as soon as it had caught his attention though. He lay there for a minute, believing the sound had come from his dream. However, it started again and he realized someone was at the apartment door. He groaned as he sat up and stretched. Who could possibly need something at three in the morning?

"Okay, I'm coming!" he called quietly when he left his room.

He figured it was Gilbert again. The albino had a nasty habit of getting kicked out of Elizabeta and Roderich's home. Usually, if his brother refused to house him, Gilbert would end up at Matt's apartment. The door was always, sometimes unfortunately, open to anyone who needed a place to stay.

Matthew unlocked the door and opened it. "Gil, I might as well give you our spare- Kiku!"

To say Kiku had been through hell and back was an understatement. There was blood seeping from a large cut on his forehead and from smaller wounds that were visible on his neck and arms. Large bruises were already forming on every patch of skin. Horrible swelling had raised all over his body making him appear almost like a bloated marshmallow. Kiku tried to take a step forward, but ended up falling into Matthew's arms.

"Alfred! Alfred wake up!" The Canadian yelled as he lowered to the floor. "Oh god, Kiku. What… what happened?"

"I-I," Kiku took in a few raspy breaths and tried to clear his fuzzy mind. "Tell Matthew… that I finally e-escaped."

Suddenly his eyes rolled back into his head and he went limp in Matt's arms. Full blown panic arose in Matthew's chest. He yelled for his brother until Alfred finally came out of his room.

"What the hell, Matt? I'm try-"

"Call an ambulance! Now!"

Alfred needed no more persuading. He ran into the kitchen and called for help on the land line. The ambulance arrived within ten minutes. It was much too long for Matthew though. He pleaded with Kiku to open his eyes or to squeeze his fingers. There was never any response though. Only ragged breathing proved that the man was alive. The paramedics swooped in and took Kiku away before either Williams-Jones brother knew what had happened. Once everything set in, they got dressed and Alfred drove them to the hospital.

An entire day passed before Kiku finally awoke. His mind was still fuzzy from the medication, but he was awake and he could speak. He held Matthew's hand when the doctor explained the extent of his injuries. The cut on his forehead was caused by being hit with a blunt object or falling on something like the corner of a table. This caused a concussion and explained why Kiku did not recognize his boyfriend in the apartment. No bones were broken, but his ribs would be sore for many days. Bruises covered a vast amount of his body. Some were far worse than others, but they would heal in time. The only physical scar would come from a burn wound on his left hand. The doctor guessed that it had come from a hot liquid.

"It was Yao, wasn't it?" Matthew asked as soon as the doctor left.

Kiku cast his gaze on the blue blanket covering his legs. "I don't know who did this."

The Canadian sighed quietly. He moved to sit on the bed and reached out to touch the hurt man on the face. When Kiku flinched, Matthew pulled his hand back quickly as if he had been bitten.

"I'm sorry. Just a bit jumpy I guess." Kiku looked very ashamed of himself for reacting in such a way.

"It's okay. You have every right to be."

An investigator came to visit a few hours later. The man asked many questions, but Kiku refused to answer any of them. He only stared down at his sheets to avoid the eyes of both the stranger and Matthew.

"Sir, you have to understand," the investigator pleaded. "I could give you so many reasons why the person who did this to you must be punished for their actions. I really believe you know who your attacker was and I am begging you to tell me. Please believe me when I say that I am here to help."

"I… I…" Small tears dripped onto the sheets and Kiku tried to wipe them away quickly. "I don't know who it was."

There was nothing else to be said. The investigator only stayed long enough to get Matthew's statement and then he left. He would later speak to friends and neighbors. They told him that they were sure Kiku's guardian and cousin, Yao Wang, was the attacker. However, when the investigator went to the home, he found it was empty. Yao had disappeared. Days later, the investigator learned that Yao had taken a one way trip to China. That spelled guilty, but there was nothing the investigator could do. There was not enough evidence to petition the Chinese government to extradite Yao back to the United States for trial. He got away with his crime. The investigator closed his case five days after Kiku was attacked.

After Kiku was released, he moved in with Matthew and Alfred. He could not stand to be in that house alone. Eventually the physical wounds healed, but the emotional pain continued on for almost a year. Kiku was so thankful to have Matthew be there every step of the way. He was there to kiss away the tears when Kiku woke from nightmares and whisper comforting words in his ear. He was there when Kiku sold the house which included every piece of furniture. He was there to provide comfort when Kiku started getting letters begging for forgiveness from Yao. Matthew ended up intercepting these letters and throwing them away before Kiku even saw the envelope. The letters stopped coming eventually.

"_Bonjour, mon amour_. What are you up to?" A pair of arms snuck their way around Kiku's waist.

"I am making dinner. Alfred wanted me to try a new recipe," Kiku said as he put a handful of chopped carrots in the kettle. "How was work?"

"Eh… Boring like usual. I need to get a job like yours."

"Because my job is more exciting?"

"No because I'd be able to stay at home with you all day."

A small smile came to his lips. There was that charm again. Kiku set down his knife and turned around so he could face his boyfriend. He smoothed out the wrinkles of Matthew's dress shirt and straightened his tie.

"Neither of us would get any work done then."

Matthew shrugged. "I don't mind."

The smaller man chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Matthew's neck. "You are more like Francis than you realize," he said with a small shake of his head.

Matthew laughed and kissed Kiku without another word. It had been a very long time since the Japanese man had been truly comfortable and happy. It was all because of Matthew. There were a million and one reasons that Kiku could give about how Matthew had saved his life. However, the only one that mattered was that he was there with only absolute love to give. What more could Kiku possibly ask for?

* * *

A happy ending was the third part in case you were wondering.


End file.
